By CAROL MARIN

This will seem like a crazy oxymoron. But I hope Gov. Pat Quinn does not reappoint 81-year-old Aaron Jaffe as head of the Illinois Gaming Board so he can stay on the job.

Hold that thought for a sec while I start with some background.

The Illinois General Assembly in its closing days in May passed a behemoth of a bill — a 409-page gaming expansion with five new casinos, slot machines at racetracks and slots at the state fairground. All that on top of the anticipated explosion of 45,000 video poker machines — five in every bar — which the state Supreme Court has cleared for take off.

So desperate is Illinois for cash of any kind that lawmakers slammed together this miserable bill at the 11th hour, with the quiet help of gaming lobbyists and other special interests.

Judge Jaffe, a former state legislator and Circuit Court judge, called it what it was the minute he saw it.

“It’s 409 pages of garbage!” he declared.

It is.

Forget about whether you are pro-gaming or anti-gaming. Forget about whether you think a Chicago casino is a plus or a minus.

Think, instead, of Illinois’ international reputation for never walking a straight line when a crooked line is available. This new gaming bill ups the ante on opportunities to do just that.

Fingerprint checks? Every single soul who works in an Illinois casino from the manager to the parking valet must undergo criminal background checks complete with fingerprints. Under the new bill, there is no such requirement for newly created “racinos,” the racetracks where slots would be installed.

Oversight? Forget about it. The Legislature — and gaming lobbyists — blew that up in a bunch of ways.

First, while the legislation radically expands gaming, it did not expand the Illinois Gaming Board’s funding to hire more enforcement staff.

Second, lawmakers created two new gaming boards, one for the Chicago casino and one for Springfield’s fairgrounds, to further dilute and complicate oversight. And since Illinois already has 8,500 units of government, more than any other state in the union, gosh, what’s two more for us cash-strapped taxpayers to support?

Third, consider what the Illinois Gaming Board will not control under the new statute. “We do not control anything of other contracts, including construction contracts,” Jaffe said last week, appearing on WTTW-Channel 11’s “Chicago Tonight.”

“We care about that,” he said, “because of a lot of mischief can go into construction contracts.”

Gaming, said the judge, is just gambling without the “B.” For clout heavy developers, contractors, and vendors, it’s a jackpot. Bet the house on it.

Jaffe was appointed to head the Illinois Gaming Board back in 2005 by then-Gov. Rod Blagojevich, who was under heavy pressure to fumigate his previous board. Jaffe, who never met Blagojevich, had just retired from the bench. He took the job and, with four other board members, radically improved the board’s reputation.

The new casino bill has not yet made it to Quinn’s desk because Senate President John Cullerton, concerned the governor may veto it, is using a parliamentary maneuver to keep it in limbo until either a compromise or a veto override is a sure thing.

Quinn, in a card trick of his own, has not reappointed the outspoken Jaffe, even though his three-year term expired long ago, because the governor knows the Senate will likely refuse to confirm him. Moreover, Quinn could well veto again part of a bill sitting on his desk forcing him to make appointments for all expired terms.

It’s a standoff of sorts.

But, for the moment, it keeps a bad bill from becoming law.

And a watchdog on the job.